All people are called to holiness; as it is written, "Be holy, as I am holy." And Jesus said, "Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect." This is a pretty tall order, but we don't always know how to live this out on a day-to-day basis.
I think the key to holiness lies in reining in and reigning over the passions. What are the passions? That's classics-speak for (roughly speaking) our emotions and feelings; the force that drives our heart. Passions in and of themselves aren't bad. But whenever our passions are out of balance in our lives, trouble reigns. First of all, our perceptions are clouded and our discernment starts to go blind. We start to interpret things wrongly, and that's when needless arguments start. And, we become much more prone to sin.
Combatting the passions is a subject that could take up entire books. For example, one way to combat the passions is through fasting, because by denying one's appetite for food, it has a sympathetic effect on the passions, forcing them in line as well. But there is another technique that I've found that I want to describe here.
I call it administering an antidote to the passions. First, we have to train ourselves to recognize when we're confronted with a passion. (Technically we only have to worry about disordered passions, but since it's hard to discern, in the heat of the moment, an ordered passion from a disordered one, and since the antidote is harmless if the passion is ordered, it's best to assume a disordered passion if there is any doubt.) Typically we're talking situations when our feelings are strongly either provoked or aroused. It could be if we are walking down the street and are sexually attracted to someone in a disordered way; or someone says something that provokes our ire; or we just lost a document on the computer; or we desire some shiny new object in the mall. If we feel any sense of being out of control, that's definitely the time to adminster the antidote.
The first step is triage and stabilization (at least if we recognzie that we are out of control). Constantly repeating the Jesus Prayer &mdash Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a sinner, or even just Jesus! &mdash will help us get our footing so we can think about the antidote.
The next step is to determine an antidote. The form of the antidote is a prayer carefully constructed to neutralize the passion. For example, for a sexual temptation, it might be, "Lord, I pray for that person, that they might use their good looks for a good purpose", or even "I give you thanks for the wonderful gifts you've endowed that person with". :-) Or if you can't think of anything, just say, "Lord, I pray for that person" and muster whatever unselfish love you can for her or him. If we are angry with a person, we can pray for the person to change his or her heart (or whatever the situation is). If we're being provoked by a malfunctioning machine, we can pray for the designers or maintainers of the equipment. If it's a decision that was made, we can pray for the decisionmaker. In the mall purchase situation, we can pray for discernment about whether we can justify the purchase, or ask God to rectify (i.e. put right) our intentions, or ask God to fulfill the deeper need that we are trying to satisfy with the purchase.
It's important to keep in mind, when determining the antidote, that selfless love must be our first consideration. In other words, while there is nothing wrong with praying "Lord, help me to put up with this person", this is a much less effective prayer than "Lord, help that person to get his act together". If we can't muster that, then we ought to pray that we might be able to love the person.
We ought to administer the antidote as often as necessary to make the passion subside or achieve a sense of peace. If we cannot think of an antidote, we ought to pray the Jesus Prayer until we either can think of an antidote, or the passion subsides. If it does not subside after much perseverence, perhaps it is a properly ordered passion. It is impossible to overdose on the antidote. :-)
In situations when we are under attack by the Enemy, this has the additional effect of adminstering what I call "backpressure". In other words, if we have a habit of responding to demonic attack with prayer, it won't be long before the demons learn to leave us alone!
Achieving holiness requires perseverence. Each prayer is like a drop of water effacing the surface of the rock of our hearts. It will take a while to achieve our goal, but we will approach it, slowly but surely.
Eric, great post, and I really like your whole blog! The post on meekness was awesome, as was the Visit From Jesus.
I have only one disagreement with you re: praying for people who cause you difficulty. In my opinion, praying to God to help another person "get his/her act together" is dangerous because it is really a criticism of that person. This type of prayer can cause the pray-er to dwell on the shortcomings of the other person rather than his or her own.
May I suggest instead that you pray for the Lord to bless and protect the tech support guy, the sexy girl, the annoying co-worker, etc., help them with any problems they may be having in their lives, and state in your prayer that you recognize that God loves the same individual(s) inifinitely.
And steadfastly refuse to bring up in your prayer any of the things that annoy/tempt you so much. (Other than asking for God's help so that YOU overcome your annoyance/temptation, and, of course, His forgiveness for your annoyance/temptation.) In other words, in your prayer, treat the annoyance/temptation as if it is your problem, not that of the object of your prayer. Which it is.
Praying for "enemies" that way has worked wonders for me - completely dissolves the hatred and resentment . . . at least, until the next time they irritate me, in which event I repeat the process!
One other thing I have just started doing, so results are not quite "in" yet! - is adding my "enemies" (for the most part, really just people I dislike or find incredibly annoying) to the list of people for whom I pray every day. I think this is going to be a very good practice!
I am going to add your blog to my list of favorites - I look forward to reading more from you!
Hi Robin,
I totally agree with you, and I regret that I did not express that more clearly. I thought I had but perhaps I wrote this to someone else and only thought I did in this post. In any case, our focus should be on loving the other person and praying for their well-being. Only if we are unable to do this should we pray for their faults, and only then if the only alternative is not to pray. But when we pray for someone else's faults, I think it really boomerangs and ends up being a prayer for ourselves to learn to tolerate those faults. :-) Such a prayer is more of a safe way of venting our frustration than anything else. As St. Augustine says, prayer doesn't change God, it changes us.
Thanks for the compliments and for the opportunity to clarify what I wrote.
Eric, Welcome to the blogging world. Your voice will do good in the world. I think that you are on the right track. Our passions can be a force or good - or they can be distorted, in which case they become capital sins. In my posting New Years resolutions , I suggested a way to identify distorted passions and cooperate with God, in removing them - if that is in God's will. At this point in life, I can only ask God to remove my shortcomings.
Thanks for the encouragement, Herb!