I was at a bible study the other day when an interesting point came up. We were talking about holiness, in particular our own perception of our holiness. I've been grousing recently that I've seen little progress in holiness in my own life; I feel so unholy. The point that was brought up was that the holier we get, the more sensitive we get to defects in holiness. In other words, the more holy we are, the more unholiness we will perceive. Things that we used to do with impunity pierce our consciences. Me, I'm always reproaching myself for being impatient. Even when I'm aware that I am and should not be impatient, I continue being impatient (chiefly while driving). Maybe I should focus on the fact that I correctly perceive impatience as a problem instead of justifying it and feeding it.
Another thing we discussed is that Satan intensifies his attacks against God's holy ones. One problem I struggle with is that I judge my holiness on the basis of my temptations. This is wrong; having a temptation, even an ugly one, does not mean you are less holy; if anything, it is the more holy who are more "worthy" of temptation.
I did have a consolation today that affirmed that I have made substantial progress and should not be discouraged. Not that there isn't a way to go, perhaps a long way, but I have encouragement now.
That was a very good take on growth and holiness Eric. On a subject I have spent much time thinking of, I have never thought of it quite in that light.
Eric, are you still using "In Conversation with God" for prayer? Yesterday (I think), there was a good entry on searching and overcoming our dominant defect.
Eric, you realize you are being impatient with yourself for being impatient? :-)
"Lord, I want patience, and I want it now!"
John: I do read In Conversation on occasion, in fact a while back I put a daily alarm in my PDA as a reminder, but I had not read that entry. Maybe I'll check it out.
Just a plug, I highly, highly recommend this In Conversation With God series by Francis Fernandez (published by Scepter). It offers very practical and substantial advice for living the faith every day. It is grounded in the real world. It's an Opus Dei work (or would that be, it's an Opus Dei?).