From "I used to believe" website:
I was raised Catholic, and had the idea of "inviting Jesus into your heart" doa little confused. Apparently, he knocked all the time, and when you answered, he could come inside & be inside your heart. The symbolism of this was somewhat lost on me though - I routinely used to kick Jesus out of my heart before I did bad things. I would tell him to leave, and once the evil deed was done, I would say, "Okay Jesus, you can come back in now." This went on for years.
a friend's aunt was quite unsure why during the holy mass she had to sing a song about a cross-eyed bear called gladly. years later she found out that she was supposed to be ready to support jesus by confirming "gladly, the cross i'd bear"
When I was in 5th grade our teacher went around the room asking us our religious beliefs. Well, I was the only one in my class who wasn't catholic and when it came my turn I told her "I'm Prostitute" and when she looked at me in disbelief I continued by saying "It's true, ask my mom, she's one too!"
(Thanks to RC)
